A long update from the lakeshore Polavin's

Hello,I am writing you today coming from a thankful place, a place where I have experienced some holy moments recently. A couple of weeks ago I was at a funeral home spending time with a family whose daughters are in YL because their Dad passed away. We hung out with the daughters, their friends there to support them, we met more of their family and community members, and we hugged. It was a holy moment, God was present, I felt at times that I should take my shoes off(I didn't don't worry) because I was standing on ground where God was present. I was at club the other night and I watched someone's heart grow and accept someone in a tender way that she would have never done at school, the safe environment and the fact that the Holy Spirit grew her heart allowed her to able to do this, holy moment. Listening to my daughter laugh and watching her crawl up into my wife's lap and giving her a hug, holy moments. I spent a few hours Sunday listening to stories from leaders about how they are spending time loving students and then participated as a community members gave them presents, told them they were valuable and prayed for them, holy moment(I actually did have my shoes off then.) I think that I have recently had eyes that see these moments, and it might have something to do with my perspective I guess, and that is another reason I am writing here today.
I have decided that this has been my last semester on young life staff. I have a heavy heart about that choice, yet it is the right decision for me. The heaviness comes from understanding that I won't get to see or hear from these folks I have come to love as often as I may like and the reality that these connections will be missed in my life. I have loved YL staff and I will miss the experiences that this job affords. However, I am leaving and feel peace and excitement about what is next for me. The details quickly are I am going to be selling color to injection molding companies. Robin has a family connection that offered me the job in passing and little did she know that she was answering a prayer I had been praying for awhile. Many of you know that we had Avary last December and before that and since I have been praying that God continue to show me how I could be a selfless father and husband. How I could step into the role of husband to a mom and father in the way God created me to fulfill that role. I felt increasingly uncomfortable in the job I had, not because I was doing it poorly, but mostly I was watching Robin's heart ache to be with Avary more and watch her sacrifice her sleep, time and health to be a great mom, hold up the financial burden of our family and still try to fulfill her other roles of family and friends. I felt like I was not being the husband God created me to be. I was trying as hard as could to take things off her plate, but what I was doing was removing things she needs to do and God created her to do. So, that left me with this ache and question of how do I remove the burdens from her that will free her up to be the woman God has so carefully crafted. This had built itself up to such a crescendo in my head and heart that when this job offer came in passing, almost joke like, that it was as if God was shouting that this is the new direction I have chosen for you, this is the path, this is your new call, so I leaped.
Now, I am full of sadness at what I am leaving in so many ways, yet I know that God doesn't need me to be on staff to do great things through me and YL south of Holland. In fact, I believe this was in His plan all along as I look back through my life, to be a community member who understands that for a ministry to thrive in a community, the community must own it and not just pay for it, whether that be a church or any ministry. So, I will be continuing to seek God's guidance in how I fit into what that looks like. I am excited about that, I am excited to learn more about myself and through other people I will meet in the course of this new job. I am worried about the transition for YL, my family and me. I am full of apprehension about this new career, stepping into the unknown is not something I have been great at. Yet, I know God is by my side and I am by His, I know my wife will be freed up to continue to blossom into whom God created her to be, I know my daughter will benefit from this, I know I will be missed(b/c those who I have told, have shared that with me.) and I know I will miss them. But, one of the beauties and struggles in life is that change is always present. So I am going to continue to adapt to this one in my life.
Quickly, we are doing well, Avary continues to amaze us and we are relearning what an adventure the world can be through her eyes, so full of wonder and curiosity. Robin's job is going well and she has worked out a great schedule so she can work from home two half days and friday every week, this has her working until 11 or midnight most nights after Avary has gone to sleep, but she gets to spend more time with Avary then. We are looking foward to the holiday season and Avary's first b-day. Love ya,
Ben
oh yeah and Tina I am honored and feel privledged to share my birthday with Graham.